There are advantages and disadvantages to every type of marriage, but generally speaking, inter family marriages should not be the norm so as to carry over from one generation to another.
This is because it encourages closer inter tribal relations, makes society more cohesive and helps in the birth of healthy children. Indeed, the Prophet (S) has recommended marriage outside one’s own family, clan or tribe. It is a right or privilege exclusive to the individual to decide whether he wants to marry his cousin or not. Many are those who think that Islam prefers, encourages or recommends marriage between cousins. But when the Prophet (S) realized that the father wanted to force her into marriage she did not want, he gave her the freedom to choose, and saved her from the oppression of a father who wanted to force her into an unwanted marriage. At first, the Prophet (S) told Khansa’ to obey her father, and this is as it should be, because the concerns of fathers for the well-being of their daughters is well known and unquestionable. The word thayyib includes both, a woman whose husband has died and a woman who has been divorced. Thus, a woman has the choice of repudiating a marriage to which she is not a consenting party. So she came to the Messenger of Allah (S) and he annulled her marriage” (The Hadith, Bukhari vol.67, no. In another tradition Khansa’ reported that, “Her father gave her away in marriage, and she was a thayyib, and she did not like it. He said to me ‘accept what your father has arranged.’ I said to the Prophet (S), ‘I do not wish to accept what my father has arranged.’ He said, ‘then this marriage is invalid, go and marry whomever you wish.’ I said, ‘I have accepted what my father has arranged, but I wanted to establish that fathers have no right in their daughter’s matters (i.e., they have no right to impose a marriage partner on them)’” (The Hadith, Al_Bukhari vol.
Islam regards marriage as a right of the individual and therefore others cannot make the decision for and on their behalf. Khansa’ Bint Khidam said, “My father married me to his nephew, and I did not like this match, so I complained to the Messenger of Allah (S). On this note, the lady remarked that though she accepts the partner chosen for her by her father, yet she wanted to establish the fact that fathers have no right in Islam to marry off their daughters without their consent (The Hadith, Al_Bukhari vol. A Hadith of the Prophet (S) says that the non virgin shall not be married until she consents to it, and the virgin shall not be married until her permission is sought (The Hadith, Sahih Muslim 3303, Kitab an_Nikah).Ī woman who was married off by her father without her consent complained to the Prophet (S), who then gave her the right to confirm or revoke the marriage. If she is not a maiden (divorcee or widow) she must proclaim her stand to the proposal. If she is a maiden and keeps (meaningful) silent when consulted, then her silence depicting modesty, is taken as her consent, unless she utters her disapproval.
Did my father act in accordance with the Shariah? If not, what is the way forward?Ī woman cannot be married against her will. On hearing the news, she became hysterical and refused to have anything to do with the man, who is a second cousin. My father concluded a marriage contract with a distant relative without consulting my sister.
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